KATHIE LOVES ANDY
An original story written by Roy C. Swanson
Video footage of Andy Kaufman singing with Kathie Sullivan on ABC's "Fridays"
DISCLAIMER: This story here is totally fictional, it is inspired by the real-life events of one of the most unusual moments of Welkdom, when our Kathie Sullivan pretended to be the fiancee of legendary comedian Andy Kaufman, who was fresh off his live on-air fiasco on the ABC sketch comedy show "Fridays" Even though the engagement was a publicized hoax, it inspired me to write this fascinating story.
Our play opens at a comedy club called the "Ha Ha Factory," here we see sitting at one of the tables is three of our favorite Welks Ralna English, Mary Lou Metzger and her husband Richard Maloof, the show's bassist. It is a late Saturday Night, circa 1981, and to relax, the gang came to see their fellow Welk Ken Delo do stand up at the club's "Amateur Night."

RALNA: Where in the heck is Kathie? I thought she would meet us here by now.

MARY LOU: You know she went to audition for that play over at the Trubadour, it will take a while, who knows maybe she got a very juicy part.

RICHARD: I heard the play was "South Pacific", and coming from experience on the show, it should be terrific.

MARY LOU: Speaking of terrific, Ken should do a pretty good job here on Amateur Night, if he can keep our audiences laughing, he'll knock 'em dead with this crowd! By the way Ralna, is Guy going to join us here?

RALNA: I'm afraid not, he been busy recording his new country album that in his words is going to "blow Nashville off its keyster."

RICHARD: Hey, I think Kathie is here!

MARY LOU: And who is that fellow with her?

Kathie Sullivan enters the club, with her is a weird but familiar looking feller wearing a Hawaiian shirt and white pants with white shoes, that of course is the famous comedian Andy Kaufman.

KATHIE: Hi guys, sorry I'm a little late.

RALNA: How did the auditions go, you got a part?

KATHIE: The good news is I am in the show, bad news is that I just dressed as one of the palm trees.

MARY LOU: Ouch, that has to be disappointing! Sorry about that Kath.

KATHIE: Oh that's alright, the best thing I met a new guy! Friends, I like you to meet Andy, Andy Kaufman.

ANDY (in his Latka Gravas accent): Hello everybody, I'm from Hollywood.

RICHARD: Wow, you're a pretty big star, liked your work on "Taxi."

ANDY (still as Latka): Thank you very much.

KATHIE: I met him at the South Pacific auditions, he was trying out for a role I couldn't recall from before.

MARY LOU: Really, which role is that?

KATHIE: A Tiki bongo drum, weird huh?

MARY LOU: Hi Andy, you may know me as Mary Lou Metzger from "The Lawrence Welk Show", this is my husband and bassist Richard Maloof and my friend and singer Ralna English.

ANDY (Now as Vic Ferrari): Of course, of Guy & Ralna, you know I happen to be quite the suave singer myself.

RALNA: Oh yeah, I've seen you sang on Saturday Night Live.
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